Welcome to the Show
by Shatter Dave
Summary: Bionicle's in a talk show? Well, I guess it was a good idea. Interactive story. Started as a challenge from Jazzyart. R&R&send your questions! Second interview: Kopaka
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Bionicle, Burger King, or Duct Tape, only Jus Shidapickle. Story idea belongs to Jazzyart.**

"Welcome back to the show, I am your host Jus Shidapickle. We have a very special guest joining us today as the first ever Bionicle to be on the show. Well, the first on tv for that matter. But, without completely boring you do death, if I haven't already, give it up for Teridax the Master of Shadows and leader of the villainous group know simply as the Makuta."

"I assure you, my face will be seen on your picture machines more often than not after this." Assured Teridax coolly from a seat opposite of Jus.

"Self-confident I see," remarked the host. "Don't worry, we'll make a celebrity out of you yet. The first question I have is actually one of mine; which means that it is also the most important." A thumbs up and a wink at the camera, and was answered by girlish giggling from the audience.

"Hey now, little children are watching this so none of that." Jus threw a wink at the group of teenage girls on the front row. "Multiple times in the first movie the scenes that focused on you were mostly scenes with poor lighting and all the swirly mist everywhere making it hard to see you. Why is that?"

"I assure you, when the director for the movie first came to me with the script I was not pleased that a body a sexy as mine was not going to be easily visible. The director said it brought more color to my eyes and make me more intimidating. My brother's dead mask! Because of the scenes like that, fans have gotten a negative view on my role and believe me to be the "ultimate evil" in the movie and day to day life."

"Uh…insane dictator who thinks he has a sexy body, right. Let's look at some questions provided by fans watching this. Let's see, nope too fan-boyish. Ah, nada kid *beepin* sucks at spelling. Ah, here we go! Miss Jazzyart writes, "What are your thoughts on being used as entertainment for humans?"

"What is this, people just send in messages and I answer them?"

"Eh, not just you, but our next guest will receive questions too."

"What is this, a *beepin* job interview for Burger King?"

"Ah… I don't think so."

"Urgh Fine! You want to know what I think about it? Well, it was slightly degrading at first and than I learned that the Toa Nova and all the others had also received the same fate so I began to think positive thoughts about it and decided that it was a great way to let you humans know how I really look, something the movie failed to properly show. Of course I never stopped plotting to take over your world like I was about to in mine -stupid sand dwellers- but a few complications and annoyances have set my plans back a few years."

"A 'few complications and annoyances'?"

"Now don't even get me start about the time that snotty-nosed brat made me fight those tiny green men who were so stiff they could only sit in one pose and complain to each other about how their noses itched!"

"You mean Army Men? Yeah I didn't really like the green one's either that much. I preferred the blue ones."

"Oh? Well there were blue ones too and they were the ones who started talking about #$#%%."

"Oh dear, I think we would have to edit that story out of this show if you told it. We are taking a short break but we will be back so stick around!"

***Camera fly's backwards away from the screen and fades into a commercial* **

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"And we are back!"

***Camera fly's back in to show Teridax and Jus in their seats. Teridax with a black box covering his torso that reads: Censored: Contains a body too sexy for children.* **

"Duct tape eh? I wonder if Tuma is still shaving his legs with shaving cream and a razor?"

"Whoa, whoa! Tuma did what?"

"Tuma, the leader of the skrall." answers Teridax. "He spent more time behind a curtain putting on shaving cream and shaving his legs than a sandstorm blowing sand across the desert plains of Bara Magna."

"Okay, that's a bit creepy. Hey speaking of Tuma! He just sent in a comment of his own to the show. He writes: "I do NOT spend that much time shaving! When the shaving cream runs out I usually have to wait a couple of hours before my Skrall can retrieve another can."

"Eh, sick dude right there."

"You have no idea. If I knew he was there I wouldn't have even gone to Bara Magna; I would have left my brother Mata Nui to deal with him himself."

"Right, moving on. Here is another question from…Mr. Jaws? Seriously wtf? Alright Mr.…err- Jaws writes: "A lot of fan-made pairings have come up, what are your thoughts on them?"

"My thoughts on… pairings?"

"Yeah, you know…two of you making love?"

"What!"

"Well…not like that. I mean, err- a Bionicle couple."

"A couple of what?"

"No! I mean…*sighs* a pairing is two people who love each other."

"What? You want me to discuss my thoughts on that!"

"Uh…yeah, pretty much."

"Fine, you want my thoughts on that I'll give you my thoughts on that. Gali and Tahu, worst couple ever! Gali was supposed to be mine and then that flame-head had to step in! What's worse is that you humans are encouraging it! Every time a new story is put out where it says "Tahu/Gali" in the description somewhere, those two are all over it like a bunch of Po-Matoran over a rock!"

"Really? what about you and Matoro? Did something go on between you?"

"Are you kidding me? He brought my older brother out of his sleep that I put him in and thwarted my plans. No! All feelings I might have once had for him have vanished after that stunt he pulled on me. Only Gali has a chance to be with me now and that is something that Tahu will soon learn."

"You know what? It sounds like you're just jealous."

"What did you say?"

"I said it sounds like you're just jealous…" **POW! **"*Beep* Ow…! What the *beep* was that?"

"That will teach you not to talk like that to me *beep*!"

"Are you kidding me? My mother-in-law hits harder than that!" **SMACK**

"*beeping beeper* Did you just smack me?"

"Yeah and I'll do it again you child's toy!" **SMACK** "Ha! Take that! The Easter Bunny looks scarier than you!"

"Oh, it's on now." **POW **"Come on! My granny can smack harder than that!"

**SMACK**

**POW!**

"Ow! That's my spleen you oversized droid!"

**SMACK**

"Did you just bite me you camera loving freak?"

**A/N: First attempt at comedy, whada ya think? Btw, I never knew Teridax had a granny… did you? Shesh, I really don't think I even want to see her. Oh, and Mr. Jaws is my shark jaw (found on some beach in the East coast, can't remember where though) I have sitting on my dresser that is always smiling at me …kinda creepy.**

**Tuma and the whole "leg shaving" was a joke all over the Bionicle community on Youtube and couple years back. I don't know who started it, but I thought it was hilarious. Oh, and Duct Tape fixes everything ^_^. **

**This fic started as my try at a challenge Jazzy had put up on her profile. But, I enjoyed writing this (till 2 a.m in fact, ah not even tired yet.) so much that I am continuing it with the next chapter featuring none other than *drum-roll*…Kopaka Toa of Ice and Slush! (Whoa now, I'm just kidding… no need to pull out the razor blades.) If you want to ask a question to be answered in the next chapter, feel free to leave it in a review or PM…whatever works best for you. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bionicle, Kopaka, the Cookie Monster, Bubble Bath, or anything else you recognize. Idea influenced by the one and only _Jazzy. _**

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the show. I am your host, Jus Shidapickle. Tonight we have a special guest making his first appearance on the show so give it up for your favorite Toa of Icicles…Kopaka! And if he isn't your favorite then…well you can switch back to watching iGali and leave me in peace."

_***Camera flies back revealing Kopaka seated next to Jus onstage.***_

"Welcome, do you want to say anything before we get started?"

"I am **NOT**a Toa of Icicles."

"Hmm? Oh, right! Sorry, I don't know how that got in the script. Well, let's go ahead and get into the questions. The first one is my own -hence it coming first- and asks; your role in the film, "Bionicle: The Mask of Light" was, in my opinion which means it is correct, the best acting in the entire movie. Who were you inspired by?"

"The Cookie Monster is by far my favorite actor of all time and is my greatest source of  
inspiration."

"You mean that blue furry creature?"

"Yeah absolutely. The acting he does is unreal and the way he does his lines is just amazing!"

"Uh…all he says is 'Me want cookie' or something else that has to do with cookies."

"I know right! He's awesome!"

"Okay…moving on with the next question. This question comes from _Mazula_ who asks, 'are you right-handed or left-handed?'"

"Stalker much?"

"It's normal, she's a big fan."

"Well, I'm ambidextrous. Although during the time I was working on the movie, I learned to eat with my right-hand because Lewa always ate on my left. I swear that guy was crazier than the movie made him out to be."

"Really? Wow, we might have to bring him in for his own interview."

"Not recommended."

"Next question belongs to…seriously?! Who is Mr. Jaws?! Well, who ever this freak is his question asks; what was your reaction when you found out that Bionicle was being replaced by Hero Factory?"

"Most insulting. I had the unfortunate opportunity to meet some of the guys in Hero Factory and all of them are annoying rednecks! I'd rather be locked in a room with Lewa for 24 hours than spend five more minutes with those shenanigans."

"Really? What did they do?"

"What didn't they do is the question? Well, remain quiet instead of singing the Scottish National Anthem all night long. Or the time when they tried to turn the entire tenth floor of the hotel into a …"

"Whoa, hold on… WHAT?!"

"I'm telling you their crazy!"

"Um, lets move on. This question comes from _Jazzyart_ and asks 'What is your favorite fan-made nickname?'"

"Kopa."

"K-Kopa?"

"I lost a bet with Pohatu."

"Ok…?"

"Long story. Involves peaches and a Le-Matoran marching band."

"…"

"Yeah…maybe dancing with fruit in your mouth is not such a good idea after all."

"I'd say so. Next question! _Mr. E_ – very uninteresting name by the way- asks 'Are you in love with Gali?'"

"How did you…? I mean! No! Of course I'm not!"

"Riiight, you are sounding so very convincing right now. Actually it is time to take a break so stick around and we will be back!"

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_***Camera fly's back in to show Jus and Kopaka.***_

"Welcome back! I'm Jus and with me is Kopa…"

"It's Kopaka."

"…and right now we will let that whole thing about Gali slide…"

"There is nothing going on between me and Gali."

"…and get on to more questions. This next question seems to be rather popular …are you gay?"

"**What!?**"

"Well…only one of them was really worded that way but several of them were heading in that direction."

"O-of course they were. I bet the next question is going to be asking if I am in love with Lewa?"

"Well, actually…"

"**ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?**"

"Hey relax man! I just ask the question I don't come up with them! Hey, here's a question that you might like a little better._ GarnettFox_ asks, 'What is it like being the most awesome of all Toa?' Hmm, I wonder how much you paid to have that question asked."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ha! You avoid the question by asking a question, a clear sign of guilt."

"And I suppose a webcam hotshot like yourself would know. Has this thing even reached one-hundred views on Youtube?"

"It has one-hundred and two to be exact."

Oh, I'm sorry. One-hundred and two views defiantly a hit! And lets not forget that the only TV channel that airs this show is sbc!"

"This show might not be very popular at the moment but rest assured my little Toa of Popsicles. It will take over the media and when it does, I will be the most powerful man in the studio- I mean world! The most powerful man in the world!"

"The day that that happens is the day that Tahu admits to listening to the Ussal Crab Dolls."

"You doubt me?"

"Yep."

"Why you *blankity blank blank*!"

"What did you call me you *blank blan-…!"

**-The last thirty seconds was cut due to flying pieces of organic matter and vile language that made the TV camera cry. We are sorry but it had to be done.-**

_**A/N: I am back! I know some of you have been waiting for this and everyone else was…what were you doing? Anyways, sorry for the long hiatus, which I blame on…well, give me a couple of days and I'll try to think of an excuse. I finished up my summer job and took a backpacking trip to New Mexico (if you live in Colorado or New Mexico you have a beautiful state!) which took up most of my summer so I guess I can blame that. My next post SHOULD BE a plot bunny I adopted from Mazula! Oh! I almost forgot to mention but I got my computer back from the shop today!**_

_**~~Dave~~ **_


End file.
